Guy: Hi. Is the homeowner home?
Me (holding Elle): I’m the homeowner.
Guy: Ohh, you look…., well, anyways.
Me (in my head): Anyways is not a word. It’s anyway.
Guy: I’m with Tru Green Lawn Care and am in your neighborhood to get your lawn set up for the summer.
Me: We’re not interested, but thank you.
Guy (pointing to our patchy, unlandscaped, somewhat mostly brown grass): Well, what are your plans for your lawn this year?
Me: Make my husband mow it every week or so.
And then I shut the door. Are we supposed to do more than mow?