It’s been way, way too long since I’ve shared any good pooping stories. Zoe is getting older and there simply aren’t as many incidents as there used to be, but when there are, Tithey make great stories.
First, I’ll start with last Thursday night. Zoe was getting ready to take a bath (she bathes in the big tub now) and I decided it would just be easier if I got in with her. A few minutes into my rendition of “Rubber Ducky” Zoe let out a massive fart. It was so loud Zak even commented on it from the office. Just a second later I saw “The Look” on Zoe’s face. And then I saw brown and green things floating in the tub. The tub that I was in. I had never been in this situation before and the only thing I could think to do was freak out. I’m sure you would have too, it is very gross. This upset Zoe and she started to cry, but Zak rushed in and she started laughing. Neither of us were keen on the idea of cleaning up the mess and were thoroughly repulsed at the idea of draining the tub and dealing with the situation. Meanwhile, Zoe was completely content and happy playing with rubber ducky on a towel on the floor. Zak was the hero and took care of the tub, while I clean up Zoe. Ewwww!!!
Now, you may think that is one gross pooping story, I bet Molly doesn’t have another one up her sleeve, but oh, are you wrong. This just happened yesterday. Our house was being shown so the three of us headed out to Oakbrook so I could get a bracelet cleaned at Tiffany’s. You know how you wouldn’t poop at Tiffany’s. Well, Zoe did. And let’s say you did poop, it probably wouldn’t get all over your clothes. Zoe’s did. And you probably wouldn’t get it smeared all down the entire length of your leg. Zoe’s did. And you would probably make real sure it didn’t get in between your toes. Zoe’s did. And you certainly wouldn’t get it all over your dad’s pants. Zoe’s did. You would also make sure it didn’t get all over your stroller and blue elephant toy. Zoe’s did. Keep in mind that you are in Tiffany’s. Like little blue box, Tiffany’s. The saleslady was purely, but silently disgusted and Zak was purely, but very vocally disgusted. To add to the chaos we realized we didn’t have enough wipes to clean up the disaster, nor did we have a change of outfit. On the way home, Zoe was naked with the exception of a diaper. Both her and I had poop on our hands, so I had to sit in the backseat holding her hands, so she wouldn’t suck her thumb. She was screaming. Maybe because she wanted to suck her thumb, but maybe because she was slightly embarrassed for creating such a mess. In Tiffany’s.
