March 7, 2006

Zak and I have said since the beginning that we will always love Zoe. We will support her decisions and encourage her to be who and what she wants. We do, however; have dreams of our own for her. We want her to be happy and be self-confident. We hope she has high self-esteem and makes wise decisions. Well, we didn’t know Zoe would put us to the test so early on in life.

Zoe has made a shocking decision. She is a cannibal. A self-cannibal to be more specific. Up to this point, Zoe has only had milk to eat and we are in no rush to introduce other foods, but this girl has a mind of her own. She realized that this whole milk thing wasn’t fulfilling enough, so she began to eat her hands. She starts by eating one finger and then will fit a thumb in her mouth too. We have witnessed up to three fingers in her mouth at once. Fortunately, Zoe doesn’t have any teeth yet, so she isn’t successful at actually eating her hands, but teeth are just months away. Zak and I have relentlessly tried to remove her fingers, hide her hand, and place a pacifier in her mouth, but Zoe is one tough individual and always finds a way to continue eating her hands.

To get to know and understand my daughter better, I have done some (very brief) research on cannibalism. Obviously, it is a major social faux paux to eat ones body parts in mainstream America, so I’ve looked into other areas of the world. Perhaps we’ll look into joining a cannibalistic tribe in South America or New Guinea. I knew parenthood would bring changes to our lives, but I didn’t think we’d be moving around the world so my daughter could fit in with others. Please wish us luck as we all endure the social pressures cannibalism brings. And try not judge Zoe, we still think she’s perfect.

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