February 16, 2006

I was so excited for Zoe and my night together last night! Molly was going to go out to dinner with a couple of friends and Z and I were going to read stories, and play games, and sing, and have fun! But. . . Molly took off about 4:30, and by 4:35 Zoe was screaming. Her really loud scream, the one that makes me feel really sad for her. The bad thing was though that nothing would calm her down. We changed her diaper, and bounced, and talked. She wouldn’t even take her pacifier or a bottle. Finally, about 5 or so I decided that she was probably hungry so I shoved her bottle in and she finally started to drink! She got through about an ounce or so, and immediatly feel asleep in my arms. At that point I was thankful she wasn’t screaming any more and even though it was quite a bit before her bedtime I just rocked her while she slept for about 10 minutes or so. At that point she looked sufficently sound asleep to put her in her crib. I was a bit worried that she would wake herself up right away so I waited right next to her. She slept for a good 10 minutes or so, and then all of a sudden started screaming her scream again. So I picked her up and started trying all the stuff I had tried before again to no avail. Finally I remembered shoving the bottle in her mouth, so I did and she drank the rest down. Unfortunatly, the rest was only about another ounce, so I had to go downstairs to refil well trying to convince her that screaming was not the answer. Finally, I got her second bottle ready. For the next hour after that we cycled between eating and screaming the second the bottle was taken out of her mouth stopping only once to refill for the third and final time. When she got down to about half an ounce left in her final bottle I got a bit nervous so I decided to try to put her to bed again (this was around 6:00). She wasn’t real happy about that so after 15 minutes I picked her back up and decided to try to use my last bit of milk to try to get her asleep.

So I held her, and rocked her until she calmed down (6:45 or so). and with every ounce I courage I could muster gave her the last bit of milk I had. She drank it calmly, a good sign. When she finished I gave her her pacifier which she took easily. We sat and rocked for a while longer as her eyes got heavier. Then, from behind her pacifer, she gave me a gigantic smile and opened up her eyes to look at me. But just as quickly as the smile had appeared she closed her eyes and feel sound asleep.

I’m not sure exactly what she meant with that smile, but I think it was along the lines of “I showed you sucker”. But whatever it was I was glad to see it. After that I put her in her crib and she was out for the night. Of course Molly came home about 10 minutes later to a perfectly sleeping baby.

Even though we didn’t get to read, or play, or sing, or have any fun at all, it was a memorable evening. Maybe I was wrong about her smile. I guess she was probably just saying “Thanks for taking care of me, dad”.

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