Wow. I (Molly) just read Zak’s description of the past days and am sitting here in tears. I was to preface this by saying that Zak is the most amazing father and husband. He is so madly in love with our daughter and has done everything humanly possible to take care of me. It has been a joy to watch him care for Zoe and I can’t wait to watch their father daughter bond continue to grow.
I’ll now go back and add my perspective of the past week. At the end of the school day on Monday my friend and coworker, Katie, told me I better be in school on Tuesday and I responded “I know I will be.” Little did I know.
Monday evening I spent some time finishing all of Zoe’s stuff, putting away clothes, straightening her room for the one-hundredth time. I stayed up a bit later than usual, knowing that I didn’t need to be too attentive for my last day of work. Again, little did I know.
One of my biggest fears of pregnancy was the concern of not knowing if my water had actually broken. I realize now that was a ridiculous worry that was! After informing our folks we grabbed the last minute items we couldn’t pack earlier and got in the car. I remember feeling so overwhelmed. I kept thinking, “Are we really going to be parents now?”
After arriving in labor and delivering they made us wait for about 2 and a half hours before anything official started. It was such a long wait and I was sure it was the longest wait of my life. Again, little did I know.
At some time they took me to get the epidural. It was fairly painless, but I was so nervous. I was about to have a somewhat major abdomen surgery and become a mom all at the same time. I was very anxious to be back with Zak, but it seemed like a million years. Finally, I heard him and then he was by my head holding my hand. I couldn’t feel a thing at this point and remember asking him “When are they going to start?” I was already open.
I heard the doctor grunt as she yanked Zoe out and there was an instant rush of emotion. I wanted to see and hold her so badly, but they wouldn’t let me. I had Zak take a picture and then show me the picture. As good as it was to see her, it made me so sad to know she wasn’t perfect yet and I still wasn’t able to see or hold her. After a few minutes they finally let me take a glimpse at her and whisked her off to the ICU.
After three very long hours they finally let us have her. It was the most amazing thing I have ever done in my life. My love for her was instant. And so strong. I couldn’t and still don’t understand this love. Zak and I bonded with her for several hours before our families came to meet here.
The day was wonderful; she, as well as Zak and I, were surrounded by the people who love us. We could all feel the warmth and love.
Days 2-5 were equally as perfect. Zak and I got to know her more and more each day and fall more and more in love. I love the little noises she makes when she eats and she gets the most darling cases of hiccups. We’ve had some very humorous bathroom incidents that have left me laughing so hard everything hurt! She has the most darling face where she raises her eyebrows and keeps her eyes closed and puckers her lips. I could just eat her up.
I’m recovering, slowly but surely. Each day is a bit better. Vicodin is good. But the best medicine is being able to hold her. The pain truly goes away then.
Thank you for reading this far. I promise each day won’t be this long, so please keep checking back. We have tons of pictures to share, but wanted to record these memories now, before too much time passed. If you haven’t already, we can’t wait for you to meet our daughter, Zoe Corinne Knott.